We’ll see you soon Moo and Nitro. As our voyage to NZ approaches, weather window permitting, the hardest thing I have had to do so far is to say to Moo and Nitro: ‘Have fun and be good for Jo and Tim Tim and Jo Hayter. Monday, I handed over Moo and Nitro to Jo and Tim for what is most likely going to be around a year. I picked them up and placed them on their cushions in Jo and Tim’s car, gave them both a pat and a smile, turned around and walked to my car as if it was normal. Thank God for Bill Fuller who came with me just in case I was a blubbering idiot, crying. Marty (Martin Lloyd) was working.
Deep sigh as I write this.
The last weekend with them was beautiful. Lots of cuddles and activities. They got washed and trimmed. This is not their favourite activity, however I wanted them looking their best for Jo and Tim. Hand over day was Monday. Sunday evening my heart was aching.
I spent time in the cockpit with Nitro on my chest and Moo curled up under my legs. We stayed like this for ages. There was a dull pain in my chest that was overwhelming.
We rescued these two forlorn dogs 5 years ago. I say rescued as they were neglected. Their nails were long, curled and growing into their pads and their breath was rotten. Moo Moo’s gums were bleeding. They were living with a family. It was clear the mother loved them, however somewhere along the way their maintenance care was left behind. As we drove away with the two scallywags in the car, we had to wind the windows down as their breath was so bad we were gagging, and so we continued on the motorway at 100 km an hour with the windows down.
After a check-up with the vet and a second visit to sort out their teeth, and with 17 extractions between the two of them, we took our two free dogs home, all of sudden much more financially drained than we were two weeks prior.
Our lives have been enriched ever since.
We were intending to fly them to NZ after we arrived by boat, however our plans have changed as Marty has a contract in the Philippines, starting in April. While we could take them with us, it is very hard to get them back into the country, simply because Australia and New Zealand have a lot less disease than most of the rest of the world and the quarantine process is extensive.
So it became a question, does Marty go to the Philippines and I stay and look after the fur kids. Last year we were having lunch and discussing this with our friends Jo and Tim who without hesitation offered to look after the dogs. They had just recently moved off their yacht back to land, and now live beside a park on the waters edge. Their connection to the water is strong. They offered to put up a fence and the rest is history.
I had started calling it a co-parenting relationship. I had also said to myself, they (the dogs) are teenagers exploring the world. I am comforted by the fact that Jo and Tim know and love the dogs and the dogs them. This was reinforced on handover day. We pulled up, the dogs jumped out of the car, spotted them and skipped over to them, eagerly wagging their tails and asking to be petted.
It made me smile.
Wind back 16 hours, my heart was wrenching on Sunday night. I started reflecting on a traditional Vanuatuan adaption process. There is the ‘white man’s’ paperwork and then there is the Islander, gifting ceremony. This is where the family gives their child to the new family.
It is not uncommon that a family who can’t have children are asked if they would like one, and a family would conceive a child to give to a childless family. It is an incredible gift.
Some arrangements will see the child grow up, spending time with both families. In others, the birth parents have regular contact and join in on special occasions, and others will have limited contact after the gifting ceremony. I think it is one of the most precious gifts of joy you could ever have.
And so, I have chosen to look at our co-parenting arrangement as giving and sharing the joy of our two cherubs. Bon journey, my wee little travellers. We will see you soon.
Thank you Jo and Tim.
Originally published on Facebook on 02/01/22.
