Learnings from the week that was…
While I am calling this post learnings from the week that was, I really feel as if it is confessions from the week that was. My coaching clients will understand this and hopefully laugh as they read this.
I have spent the week on our 34 ft Duncanson “Phoenix 7” yacht with a view to write. Precisely, what am I writing you ask. I am writing my book, “Confident Conversations, Preparing Managers for Difficult Conversations” and about 75% there. It is the last 25% that I am wrestling with to get it to a finished draft by a certain date…
Focusing has been a struggle (on the book that is)…
The last couple of weeks I have been grappling with this.
I was listening to a Her Business podcast where Suzi Dafnis talks about being the Australian distributor for Richard Kiyosaki author of “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” confesses that his book is not a literally master-piece. I have taken courage from learning that fact. He freely knowledges that it could have been much better written. However, the concept and the content are what made it a best seller, over and over again.
I also have taken courage of my fellow mentors Heidi Denning author of, “Her Middle Name is Courage”, and Carolyn Stevens author of, “Confident, Candid and Courageous” And, they have insisted I give myself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. So, my plan was to have my crappy first draft finished by 9th October.
This week did not go to plan at all with numerous challenges over the first couple of days.
Notwithstanding… This is the third time I have locked myself away for a week to write. I should be getting better at this not worse.
The first writing retreat (2014) was not bad… I was scared to write… I went away with two girl-friends both brilliant writers…
Budding authors take note. What I learnt from my first attempt at locking myself away was to arrive a day earlier and get set-up. Get your space set-up, do your shopping, have a meal plan organised and set-up the day before. On my first writing retreat at Kingscliffe, I arrived on Monday and I really was not set-up in my environment until Monday evening. And then I did not start on my plan until Tuesday morning. I was not writing until well into Tuesday afternoon. By the time I was on a roll it was Friday lunch time and my husband and girlfriend’s husband and daughter were joining us at the beautiful Kingscliff for the weekend. They decided to knock of work earlier Friday and arrived mid-afternoon. Now it was only really 2.5 effective days writing.
Writing retreat number two (2017)… It was brilliant.
I flew to Vanuatu Tuesday-to-Tuesday then had a strategy session with Suzi Dafnis and Michelle Falzon on the Friday.
I wrote my plan on the Sunday / Monday I landed in Vanuatu on the Tuesday and stayed at the lovely Barrier Beach resort and wrote. Leaving the resort the whole trip was not an option. It was a small resort only 6 fares at the time. It now has more fares… And I executed my plan… A cyclone and relocation in the week did not deter me… I am always telling my clients to “plan to prepare”. I was super happy…
My days in Vanuatu started with a walk along the beach and a paddle. Then breakfast followed by a number of hours writing. Lunch followed and another walk and paddle and more writing. Diner I relaxed and enjoyed the company of my fellow travellers. In fact, most people were curious about my book and were asking me questions each night. It was like I had my own personal cheer squad. I made a very good friend who has since come to visit me from Switzerland.
I came back to Australia and work got really busy… It stayed super busy for about two years and my book was put on the back burner.
Writing retreat number three (last week)… I wished I had paid more attention to the lessons from retreat number 1.
I had a plan, but it was not current. Not front of mind and not reflecting where I was at with my thinking. I should have updated my plan before I jumped on Phoenix. I also did not set my daily priorities like I did in my second retreat (and every week of the year). And each day I decided on single priority for the next day. I let myself be distracted by everyday things. And other things I wanted to write. Other issues I have been trying to put to bed…
I am pleased I tackled two of those issues and they are put to bed. (They took much longer than I could have ever imagined).
But, I did not stick to my plan. Now my clients are smiling… I can hear you telling me my own words, “Plan to prepare!” Yes, I know.
What I know about myself is I’m normally very disciplined.
It surprised me to step out of my normal routine where I am disciplined, and to find that I was not disciplined on this trip.
Now for my learnings!!!
I love the work by James Clear on his research into discipline and habits and love his very practical approach to disciplined planning and tracking. It sets the scene for my learnings.
I want to share an extract from Twyla Tharp audio book, “The Creative Habit” that James Clear introduced me to. Lessons from Twyla Tharp an internationally recognised dance choreographer.
“I begin each day of my life with a ritual,” she writes. “I wake up at 5:30 A.M., put on my workout clothes, my leg warmers, my sweatshirts, and my hat. I walk outside my Manhattan home, hail a taxi, and tell the driver to take me to the Pumping Iron gym at 91st street and First Avenue, where I work out for two hours.
“The ritual is not the stretching and weight training I put my body through each morning at the gym; the ritual is the cab. The moment I tell the driver where to go I have completed the ritual.
“It’s a simple act, but doing it the same way each morning habitualizes it—makes it repeatable, easy to do. It reduces the chance that I would skip it or do it differently. It is one more item in my arsenal of routines, and one less thing to think about.”
For me that one good decision a day that leads to success comes from my plan… It is the ritual at the end of the day to prepare for the next day… and know exactly what my priority is. If I do this then I am on fire…
The other takeaway for me this week (besides Chinese, that is) came from two directions. Same message but two sources.
The first, my client Jackie told me about the book, “The Third Space, using life’s little transitions to find balance and happiness” by Adam Fraser. I bought the e-book and I’m working my way through it. It talks strategies to step from the first space (where you are now) to the second space (where you are heading) and he calls the transition space your third space…
I was letting my first space dictate my second space…
The same point was come home to me after I watched two interviews with Nat Fyfe, the 2019 AFL Brownlow Medallist. He is humble and inspirational, referred to the third space (while not by name) a number of times. Also, he mentioned the space between the last game (regardless of whether it was a good or poor performance) and the next game does not affect the way he prepares for the next game.
Similarly, the space between plays on-field doesn’t affect the way he prepares for the next play.
He confesses that he is not a morning person, yet he has earned how to use routine and time for himself to better plan for the day ahead.
All of these resonate with me. So now, I need to take these learnings. And revisit my plan to finish my crappy first draft… no excuses…
Plan to prepare!!!
