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Transitions and Time Warps

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Transition from our deck to open cockpit

Transitions, transitions, transitions… It is official, our transition from the house is complete. We handed the keys back on Saturday 11 July. The last 6 months has felt like a time warp and to borrow from The Hit Crew; “and nothing can ever be the same”.

What if…? I get back to this question later?

While it has been 5 days since we handed the keys back, we have now been sleeping and eating on the boat for two weeks and three days. This transition from a perfectly normal and beautifully set up home to a small boat could either be described as an over-abundance of courage or straight, outright foolishness. Or both, I hear you say…

While Martin Lloyd and I both have a sense of adventure there was always a risk that we were romanticising the idea of living on a boat. After all, for our honeymoon we went sailing. That was five and half years ago. Martin would occasionally ask me somewhat rhetorically,

“are we romanticising the whole adventure?”

Well it is too late now… And in fairness I was the one that was always excited… I have said so many times that I could not wait:

~ to be on the boat (tick).
~ end the trips back to the house (tick).

I can’t wait to go sailing… Planned for Saturday… Woohoo – happy dance…

Finally you say. I can feel your joy for us bounce through on-line waves. Don’t get too excited, we are not heading off on our big voyage. It will be a day sail as we want to test our new staysail. And just for fun we want to… uh no, we need to practice docking again. If you missed the dramas of our last attempt to dock the 18 tonnes of uncooperative Saboteur (the bouncing off other boats) and if you want a good laugh at our expense, grab a cuppa, jump in and follow this link. Part of our transition process is after all, learning new skills. Even if they scare the beegeebers out of us.

Transitions bring up many and often mixed emotions. Somewhere during a coffee break in the blur and time warp of the final days of packing, Bill Fuller (Marty’s friend and former band mate from 50 years ago) asked,

“What’s it like on the boat now that you are finally on the boat?”

To which Martin replied, “I am feeling excited or is it panic? I’m not sure. How do you tell the difference?”

Bill replied, “Don’t bother, just sit back and enjoy it”.

To which we all laughed…

And so our transition, while it has had many tangible components to it, it is the unspoken or deeply personal components that makes this change interesting, emotional and even complex.

I am finding my awareness of the transition moments tends to come with a sigh of relief. Some expected, some not so.

Zac exploring. He is looking out of the cockpit with the moon in the back ground.

Probably the first significant transition moment for me was seeing Zac (our cat) explore and settle into the boat. I could feel my face break out into the hugest grin as he placed his paws on the edge of the cockpit and looked out. Not out of fear (certainly cautious) but out of curiosity. And I felt myself sigh with relief. We had spoken with the vet who had provided us with a stash of anti-anxiety tablets, which we only ended up using on the day we moved.

~

The second transition moment, in a way, had nothing and everything to do with living on the boat. It is symbolic of life changes. One of the reasons we purchased our first boat together was that Martin had had a serious race-bike accident that nearly killed him, resulting in a manic period in our lives starting with 3 hospitals in three days and 3 months in a wheelchair. It appeared as if he would not race again.

For someone that viewed himself as racer-boy, to be unable to race which he has done all his life has been difficult. Even more so when he had no choice but to retire from racing. In time, he recovered from all his injuries and gained pretty much full range in his knee, and so we bought our boat. In Martin’s mind he could now transition from being racer-boy to Captain Marty. Sailing has also been a serious passion of his. We loved our old boat but within 18 months we sold her and bought Saboteur.

Back to the track.

Marty and co in the pits at the race track

Martin was planning to do a track day with a mate. The last hoorah so to speak and had asked his mechanic to put new tyres on the bike and give it a service. His mechanic took a photo of Martin’s race bike and posted it online. Martin’s mates recognised it and started asking questions; “Is Marty back racing?” to which he shared that he is just doing a track day and then he received many beautiful comments from guys he raced with all over Australia. Some of the local guys (Ben Lowe, Brad Lesueur, Kurt Grainger, Barry Grainger booked in to ride with Marty on the track day) and the interstate guys (David James, Birdsey (Aka William Birdsey) and others) expressed their wish to be on the track with him once again. It was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.

Marty, Kurk, Ben and Brad taking the corner 2 at Morgan Park.

You really don’t want your last memory of your last race to be being taken away in an ambulance.

A massive thank you to the paramedics and all medical staff who cared for him.

As well as Andrew Smart and his Ricondi Motorcycle Apparel for the airbag fitted leathers that help save his life.

He had not returned to the track (that track or any other track for that matter in 2 1/2 years). And so it was with great trepidation for me and a mixture of excitement and fear for Martin that we went back to the “scene of the crime”.

I was focused on minimising the voice in my head…

What if… he falls,
~ breaks a leg (I will put a bed in the shed and he can wheel himself to the amenities block! And I told him that!)
~ breaks his collarbone again (the Surgeon has told him he can not reconstruct it again. He has broken one collarbone four times and the other twice!)
~ and it delays our plans to sail…

I will be forever grateful that there were no falls and no broken bones.

I will be forever grateful to his friends that came and the conversations, stories and comradeship between great mates.

And then afterwards, the dialogue they shared in Messenger about how happy they were to be able to be on the track with him again, and what it meant to them.

Thank you to Ben, Kurt, Brad and Barry…

I am forever grateful.

And so Martin transitions from racer-boy to Captain Marty and he can turn his focus to new skills. If only Saboteur turned as easily as his race bike.

~

Another transition moment was Martin having a discussion with his boss and telling him we are not running away anytime soon and that he will give him three months’ notice. That feels right.

~

And finally for me, an unexpected transition moment has been falling in love with writing.

Over the past 11 months there have been almost 45 posts to our blog www.whatareyouwaitingfor.guru, and I have fallen in love with writing.

What was my worst nightmare at school (writing) is now my number 1 passion.

I get cranky when I don’t have time to write.

It has taken over my passion for painting. I have 3 unfinished paintings in the shed that I would like to finish before we set sail. Maybe I will, and maybe I won’t. I have a painting in a girlfriend’s studio that I will finish. Just to hang out with her again in her studio will be wonderful.

And so it is with Transitions, Time Warps and the occasional U-Turns,
we need to know what you are moving away from and
what you are moving towards.

In our case, it is not just a house to a boat, it is an identify shift as Marty transitions from racer-boy to sailor-boy, and I, corporate girl to sailor-girl.

And more than anything else, I am loving being a writer.

And there is still one unanswered question.

What if we can’t live together in a small space?

Will we still like each other…

#Ilovesailing #Whatareyouwaitingfor #liveyourlife #TandMadventures #ZacAdventures #Liveaboard #Liveaboardwithanimals #Transitions

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Appreciation, safe travels & a couple of U Turns

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Home Sweet home

It is now 10 days since we docked, and with this time comes an increasing appreciation for all that we have to be grateful for in life. 

Appreciation of the stunning sunset of Lamb Island
Sunset at Lamb Island

In my last post I said good night after a beautiful evening on deck with the sunset and the warmth of the shiraz as our companion, our bodies weary from the days work and happy for what we had achieved.

Permit me to take you back to the rest of our voyage to our new berth and base.

We were anchored in a very sheltered spot south of Lamb Island that was perfect for the weather conditions. 

We had let out about 10 meters of anchor chain. It is an imprecise science. I measure a meter by counting, one second, two seconds, three seconds, you get the idea. And then we paused (with the engine idling in reverse) for the anchor to take. It did not, so I let out another 5 meters, 1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds… We waited… The anchor takes and we checked to ensure that the current was pulling us back and the anchor held. We were happy. We set the anchor alarm for 30 meters. This alarm would go off if the boat moved outside of a 30-meter circumference. Bearing in mind that tidal movement would result in the boat turning 180 degrees twice during the night. I have full appreciation of modern technology such as “anchor apps”. We went to bed and crashed. We both slept well.

And then the anchor alarm dragged us from our deep sleep.

I blinked, listened and jumped out of bed all at the same time, while Martin’s extended arm went in search for his phone (the anchor alarm is a phone app). Our minds were rapidly waking from our sleep. I had put my left foot down first and as I transferred my weight to my right foot my leg collapsed; clearly my right leg was numb. ha, ha… now is not the time I told myself. My left arm lunged clinging to the bed as my body rose, supported by my left leg. I slapped my right leg and tried again, it collapsed again. This was to occur twice more before I had normal use of my right leg.

I was cautious going up the companionway (stairs). By this stage Martin had found the phone and checked the alarm. We had gone approximately a meter outside of the 30 meter circumference we had set. We checked the landmarks and our position against other anchored boats. I was certain we had not moved. As beautiful as it was in the stillness of the night our pillows called us back to bed…

We both feel back into a deep sleep, and then…

The anchor alarm went off again, albeit 6 hours later (tide change again). This time we both just sat and listened. We were convinced we were not moving. Martin checked the alarm and again we were just on a meter outside of the 30-meter circumference. We really should have set the alarm for 35 meters. Not to worry. Martin stayed in bed and I went up on deck and checked to ensure we had not moved and – we had not.

I had about 10 hours sleep and Martin 11 hours. I was full of appreciation for a brilliant night’s sleep. The birds were calling me to watch the sunrise. My spirits soared. I paused, embracing being in the moment with the crispness of the morning, the birds singing and in time the ferries transiting past us commuting people from Straddie (Stradbroke Island) and Lamb Island. Martin joined me in the cockpit. I think the wake of the ferry may have raised him.

It was a magical morning. 

Martin cooked up a protein feast, of fried egg served on a massive Swiss brown mushroom (one of my gluten free alternatives to bread) and some gorgeous air cured bacon. My Marty appreciation bubble is soaring. We cleaned up and checked our route. It was simple, head straight out of the channel turn left and we would be in the main channel to the Gold Coast. What could go wrong? Let’s face it, it would not be a TandM (Tessa and Marty) adventure without a hiccup or two.

My appreciation bubble was about to disappear for a couple of hours.

We hoisted our anchor right on low tide. We were chasing the low tide between sand banks and islands for the next two hours.

Our passage heading out from Lamb Island down the main channel.
Our passage!

We exited the channel, turned left and then had to decide which channel markers to follow. Meanwhile we had almost no clearance under our kneel. We argued, as we tried to make sense of the markers. We headed off on what we thought was right channel, and I became more and more convinced we were heading to a dead end. And then we ran out of water. We argued and turned around. It was our first U-Turn for the day.

We headed out to some slightly deeper water while we tried to make sense of the channels shown on the chart and the sea of buoys. It was so shallow and I was seeing sand banks everywhere. We turned around and headed back, only to run out of water again. We were using Martins phone for navigation (our navigation instruments were on their way still). Martins phone was fine, it was just small. The path it was showing looked like we were heading for a dead-end and sand. We turned around a third time. One of the nearby fishing dinghy’s picked up anchor and moved. Perhaps our arguing was scaring the fish away.

Finally I said to Martin; “You’re the skipper, go wherever you want”!

Martin cautiously headed down the transit lane marked on his phone… It turned out he was right (and I was wrong) Sorry baby.

When we finally passed this narrow passage, the rest of our journey was fine. We laughed because we recalled having the same argument, at the same point the last time we went down this passage on our previous yacht.

A little further on we gently weaved our way through some crowded anchorages off Horizon Shores and Jacobs Well. Eventually we found ourselves motoring down The Broadwater and then we hung a right at the entrance to the Coomera River and we were almost home. The tide was fast and the wind was now about 8knots and blowing in the wrong direction, which would make docking in our new berth at Gold Coast City Marina tough. It was kind of tight. I phoned ahead hoping to be able to book a pilot. Many marinas offer a pilotage service, where an experienced pilot will come out and take your boat in for you. Unfortunately, our marina does not. Bugger, we are on our own. Our boat is big (47 ft) and heavy (18 Tonnes) and with a full knell she is hard to turn in tight spots.

We entered the marina… fair to say, nervously…

We phoned the couple we rent the berth off. They said that they would be happy to grab a line for us. We had phoned our new neighbour Dan and asked him to put extra fenders on the outside of his boat in case we needed to “lean”  against it… as we approached our berth we needed to stay as far left in the channel as we could before turning right. Unfortunately, there was a houseboat at the end of the finger (in his usual spot) which limited how far left we could go. We turned, Martin did a good job of it. I was up the front ready to throw the line out to our ready catchers. I threw, the tide and wind was pushing us back and my line fell short. Clearly, more practice required.

Time was precious, letting the line trail in the water I turned and grabbed the pole and started to push off our neighbours boat.

We were starting to shout instructions at each other. And what happened next could only be describe as a comedy of errors. We managed somehow to get out of our pen without damaging our new neighbour’s boat and were attempting to reverse down the channel. We needed to turn our boat which steers in reverse poorly. By this stage, what is a normally a sleepy marina seemed like everybody had come out of hiding to welcome the inexperience newbies and, or more likely, to push us off their boats if required.

We heard a voice say, “If you can get over here, I will jump on board and help”.

There was no problems getting over there, the problem was stopping and before Gus could jump on board, he had taken on the task of pushing our boat off his and his neighbours. Meanwhile, Martin was trying to steer and I had been fending off boats. With the help of Gus we managed to turn the boat around and headed to the fuelling dock.

We were able to pause and consider the next move. I wondered how many people in the restaurant above us were watching and laughing – best not to think about it.

Our new friend Gus phoned a friend who could give us a hand. Despite the stress of the moment I can feel my appreciation bubble returning. Before we knew it, a young French couple joined us. Mona is a shipwright (boat builder) and Noah is a landscape gardener. They have been living on their boat for many years and are very experience sailors. By this time, my appreciation bubble has definately reappeared. I was grateful we had not damaged anyone else’s boat and full of appreciation for the assistance we had been offered.

After we had caught our breath, we readied ourselves to depart from the fuel dock and head out into the channel and turn around ready to try again.

We had hoped Mona would skipper, however she insisted Martin should take us in. Perhaps it was a voodoo thing. You know get back on the bike after falling off. While at this stage I was nervous about this, looking back I am full of appreciation for the wisdom of this decision. And so, with expertise we were guided into our pen. We were prepared to fend off our neighbours boat (just in case). We had awesome line handlers who made light work of securing us to the dock. Pretty much at the same time some friends arrived. They missed the entertainment. Probably just as well. 

Full appreciation of docking without damaging our neighbours boat.
Safely in our pen at GCCM

With Saboteur secured our friends and handlers settled into the cockpit. We cracked some beers and opened a couple of bottles of wine (19 Crimes Shiraz to be precise). Gus told me, I was pretty good with the fender, I knew where to put my feet, how to balance and when to let insurance take care of it… My years of martial arts helped.

And so we shared stories with our friends old and new, stories about life and doing what we love… despite the dramas of the day, and knowing we need to learn how to turn the 18 tonnes of boat better, we are thrilled to be on our journey. I am full of appreciation for old friends and new…

What are you waiting for? What’s your next adventure… even if you don’t know how?

#Whatareyouwaitingfor #Liveyourlife #Appreciation #Ilovesailing

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In Our Journey

Anticipation, is it worth holding your breath?

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Note: I originally published this article Facebook on last Saturday ( 28 June) Moving has kept us occupied. It is nice to be able to catch up on a few things.

—

I held my breath so many times yesterday… almost too scared to believe that we had a boat with a working motor and sails and that we could move the boat without it being towed…

We had become conditioned to anticipate what could go wrong…. Trying not to let this negative anticipation stifle the positive anticipation for our plans, or at worst strangle our enthusiasm for our goals.

We arrived at East Coast Marina (Manly) at around 10am with the view to unload the car, do minimal organising and head out as soon as possible. Seriously aiming for 11.30 departure.

We were confident after checking everything yesterday that everything, seriously everything was working. Or so we thought!

We took two loaded trolleys to the boat, unloaded our numerous bags on the deck and Martin heads back to the car for the next load. I head downstairs to unload. All good. I plug in my iPad. It is not charging, yet other things are working, this does not make sense as we are still on shore power. Not good.

Martin gets back and I share my discovery and collectively we try and work out why. This is not good. We need to be able to charge our mobiles. Especially given that our chart plotter has not arrived and we need the iPhones for navigating unfamiliar passages.

Breathe, breathe and breathe… Right now, you can understand why anticipation can be overrated.

We phone the electrician. No answer. Shite. I phone the pet sitter to see if he can do another night. Phew, he can. I phone a friend who was coming down to say goodbye and cast us off. 

And then, the electrician arrived. 

Note: the advantage of using the local marina electrician is he could just be on the boat next door. He wasn’t, but he was somewhere nearby. He immediately identified the problem. 

No problem at all… really… had to be something obvious (both do a mental forehead slap and laugh and sign of relief all at the same time). Depending on what source the power was coming from determined which master switch had to be on. In our defence only one of the two master switches is labelled Master… helpful… 

Anticipation is worth it we are filling departing Manly
Departing Manly

Awesome, our energy picks up. Martin announces we are leaving in 30. This meant departure was at 1pm. We set about getting organised. We had hoped to leave by 11.30am, no later then midday to get to our planned anchorage for the night. Best laid plans… 

We are on our way!

Our friend turns up. It was brilliant to talk though the options of turning Saboteur’s 18 tonnes and getting underway. It is brilliant to have an extra set of experienced hands help us cast off. He also took this awesome photo as we head out. And so our journey begins… We had 2.9 hours on the new motor and had a perfect afternoon of motoring. It was not good sailing as we were nose into the wind and already 90 minutes later than planned. We wanted to reach our anchorage before sunset which was just on 5pm. We were able to do a good 6 knots and arrived exactly as originally planned and we were pleased with that. All went well. As we passed Peel Island we reminisced about anchoring there last year and the adventures that followed when our anchored started slipping in the middle of the night.

We were pleased to be trying a new and recommended anchorage.

Day 1 success!

Enjoying a glass of red at sunset, Cheers
Anchor secured, cheers!

And so we anchored in time to watch the sunset. With the anticipation of hearing the crack of the seal of the red wine bottle as it releases, followed perfectly by a gurgle as the wine merrily bounces from the bottle to our gorgeous wine glasses and we feel our bodies relax as we take that first sip. It is as if the setting sun picked up all the challenges of the day and carried them away. 

In time, our attention turns to firing up the BBQ and cooking the vegies. Our unfamiliarity of our galley provides some entertainment and we eventually work out one gas bottle is empty and turn on the full one – and we are away.

Sunset
Sunset at Lamb Island

We already had the steak out raising to room temperature. The anticipation of the sizzle on the BBQ did not disappoint. We set the anchor alarm and sat back and read. Martin slid his wine glass over to me. He is tired, trading wine for chocolate and has a power nap.

We head to the galley, do the dishes and tidy a little of our unpacked craziness and head to bed.

We collapse in the quietness, that is shattered with Martin hitting his head just above the bed. “#### I am sick of hitting my head”. There are only a few places where he can hit his head and somehow I anticipate one or two repeat performances. His head barley touches the pillow and he is asleep. And with that it is time for me to go to sleep. 

Our journey has really begun. The anticipation has all been worth it.

#ilovesailing #whatareyouwaitingfor #liveyourlife #TandMAdventures

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In Sailing

It was oh so quiet

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Tess and Marty Sae-trials bliss

It was oh so quiet. The morning was eerily still. Perhaps it felt eerie because of the significance of what was to come. Our new mainsail was being installed and if all went well, we were having sea-trials with the new rigging, furling boom, sail and new engine. 

Side note: Sea-trials are where you take it out with the manufacturer/installer and put it through its paces to ensure that it all works properly. In this case our sea-trials required our rigger and the sail maker.

Normally I would be excited and jumping out of my skin. However, we were getting too used to issues and delays. When Martin and I rose that morning we barely spoke; each in our own thought bubbles; each knowing that if today did not go well we would have to… well, let’s not go there. 

We drove in silence to the boat. I broke the silence and said we really should do a Facebook live. I recall saying I should be excited however I am nervous…

We arrived at the marina 45 minutes after the rigger said they would be there. We were expecting to round the bend to our finger and see a couple of guys installing our vang. A vang controls the angle of the boom to the deck under sail.

We rounded the corner and… nobody was there. We stood there for a moment. Martin phoned the rigger – no answer. Me? The disappointment felt like a wave that made my body heavy, lethargic and my inner voice says, “Here we go again”. 

We walked the remaining 20 meters to our boat and left our trolley on the finger. We turn to walk the 1 km back to the café and grab a coffee. We grab takeaway and, not thinking we decide to sit at the café tables, upsetting the COVID19 table reservation and cleaning system that is in place. No problem, they have a table spare and seat their new customers there. Perhaps they are regulars like us. I don’t know. I don’t look. It is a busy place.

It was oh so quiet (thank you for the song Bjork). The water was glassy flat. The sun was shining brightly, the sky was crystal clear. There was rain over night so everywhere was damp but with the rain comes a couple of extra degrees of warmth. Nice. All in all it was a perfect day for raising the mainsail. There was no wind. We sat in the stillness. 

Martin tries phoning the rigger again. This time he answers, He is polishing the knuckle and is leaving in 10 minutes. We can expect him here in 30 minutes… I don’t know what a knuckle is. He will be here around the same time as the sailmaker. Fingers crossed.

Martin and I part ways. He went back to the boat and I went to the bathroom. 

On my way back to the boat Martin tries to call me. I ignore it as I am recording the day using my iPhone’s time lapse feature. I am almost there.

Martin and Tess happy days.
Our smiles say it all

I rounded the corner and my heart nearly burst out of my chest. The sailmakers and riggers were both there and working on our boat. It was like an explosion in my head and my heart. Martin walked up to me and gave me a huge hug. I am so in love with him and the adventure we are creating…

I was pretty quiet for the rest of the morning while all the guys were working. I was happily watching (and filming) as they toiled away. I can watch craftsmen work for hours and not get bored. They worked well and swiftly, guided by years of experience. 

They finished earlier than expected. We were going to be doing sea-trials that afternoon. It was barely 11 am. The rigger asked, “Do you want to do sea-trials now or on the weekend?” Perhaps due to the light winds. And finally I contributed to the day’s proceedings and said, “We are doing it now”. To which the rigger said something along the lines of, “The lady has spoken”. We had cast off within 5 minutes and our new engine purred. The sails were put through their paces and my heart soared.

The wind was starting to pick up a little. It got to a nice 10 knots. Enough for what we needed. Brett, one of the riggers, was hosted up the mast and checked the rigging and made some adjustments while we were under sail. I will say that again, He was hosted up the mast in a bosun’s chair while we were sailing. Amazing man… And he didn’t drop any tools. 

The sailing was beautiful. It was like mother nature put on the best she could offer. Perfect sunshine, warmth, wind and some dolphins joined us. The guys even saw a dugong. I missed it. Perhaps next time…

Oh so quiet
Oh so quiet

We came back in. A girlfriend phoned asking if we had had lunch yet. She came to the boat with sushi. I was starving. We talked and chatted. And we had one of those blissful moments that you can have with a friend who knows you well. Those moments of saying nothing at all and just chillaxing after a job well done.

It was oh so quiet… blissfully oh so quiet

—

Jump into our Facebook page and check out some of the videos from the day https://www.facebook.com/pg/WhatAreYouWaitingForLiveYourLife/posts/?ref=page_internal

#Ilovesailing #Liveyourlife #Whatareyouwaitingfor #Ohsoquiet

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In Live your life

Trying to remember, where are my keys?

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Where are my keys?

Looking for my keys is not uncommon for me. I usually find them in the bottom of my handbag, but which handbag is usually the question? The way I track them back is I need to reflect on what outfit I wore (yes I remember the strangest things) and then connect the outfit to the handbag. It sounds like I have a lot of handbags. I have a few. Perhaps, I will count how many I have before I publish this article. That’s if I remember to do so.

I have been forgetting things. 

Six days ago; 
We were at the boat Sunday afternoon doing some work and then had a quiet drink on the deck. Went home. I woke up Monday morning wondering if we have closed the hatches and portholes. I threw the dogs in the car and headed out to the marina. Their morning walk was at East Coast Marina Manly. And we had shut the hatches. 

I laughed at myself and I was glad to have made the dash out there as rain was forecast.

Some of our new rigging

So, I sat on the deck and enjoyed the stillness of the morning. I imagined what it will be like getting up every morning and bringing my cuppa up and watching everything and nothing. Every time a fish jumped out of the water I missed it, only catching the concentric ripple of evidence they left behind them. I noticed, people leaving their boats dressed for work. I remember to look at our new rigging. Two women paddled back to the shore in their single woman outriggers. They must have left early. One was lefthanded, one was right minded. 

—
Mental note 1, remember next time I am in Hawaii I want to paddle a traditional outrigger… 
Mental note 2, remember I must bring my surf ski to the boat this weekend.
—

Tuesday, I realised I was meant to contact two clients last week, and I had not… (I must rectify that)…. Along with two friends… 

Wednesday morning, I woke up to find that I had prepared the dog’s dinner the night before and had forgotten to put it down for them. They are way more polite than the cat is in this matter.

And that only got me as far Wednesday.

So, what are your signs of being under pressure or stress or both?

For me, I eventually feel it in my jaw. However, there are plenty of other earlier signs. Most of them are around short-term memory. Where is my phone? It can still be in my hand when I ask myself the question. Where are my glasses? Walking into a room to do something only to fin myself standing still tryng to remember what that was. Retelling my husband stories from the day. Not one, twice… Hey baby, did I tell you…? 

My mind races. Normally, I like working at this pace. However, I can only do it if have balance. Normally, I have it built into my day. For me it is the quiet of the morning before anyone else is awake. However, nothing about the last few weeks has been normal.

The two things that always help are a kick-arse action list (and then the keys magically reappear) and pausing to reflect. In that reflecting space I can relax and connect the dots of what I am meant to be doing and why. Versus jumping across thoughts as they either catch my eye or my mind lands on what I need to do. The former is planned and proactive and the latter is reactive and risks missing something seriously important. 

If I reflect and plan in the evening I can relax and sleep knowing exactly what I will do in the morning. I wake and my morning routine kicks in. And balance is restored once again. 

Be kind to yourself…

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Challenges, deadlines and the domino effect…

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With deadlines looming our schedule is ever changing… We are two weeks behind on schedule version 1,099…

Pushing deadlines it was great to finally see this image our engine on the trailer and the crane to host her onto the boat.
New Engine and reconditioned GenSet

Week starting 25 May 2020 (this week):
• engine craned in – tick – crazy happy dance
• engine gets connected and other bits and pieces… almost finished.

Week starting 1 June 2020 (next week)
• new inverter, batteries and electrical checks – (OMG done a week early… unbelievable… another happy dance)
• new sail installed (or the week after)

And with a new sail and the rigging will we need to do what is called a “sea trial” to ensure it all works as expected… Seriously running out of time. We are feeling the pressure of multiple deadlines.

We have planned to be moving onto the boat this weekend. However, the interior is still in a million pieces. OK I exaggerate… 999 pieces… You get the idea.

Meanwhile back at the ranch we are both working too many hours and are still swimming in a sea of books, shoes and bits and pieces that are no longer supported by furniture… i.e. it is all on the floor.

Back to our schedule or reschedule…

We have had to reschedule the pet sitter. He was meant to be looking after the animals this weekend while we were moving the boat to the Gold Coast. We rescheduled him to the following weekend. However, Bill Fuller in case I forget to tell you, it may be the weekend after… or… sorry the deadlines keep changing.

We are getting a few questions about the animals. Moo and Nitro (the dogs) will be fine I have no doubt. Zac (the cat) on the other hand – well that remains to be seen. I spoke with the vet about sedating him. He recommended some anti-anxiety tablets instead and to try them out first. They worked at treat. Tick…

Our best-case scenario is now to be moving the boat to the Gold Coast the weekend 5 June…

Our worst case and last option is to be moving the boat to the Gold Coast the weekend of 12 June… Not ideal as we have a skip scheduled for the 12 June.

It will be worth it… we just need to get through the next 3 weeks.

And as the deadline approaches our stress levels are increasing with the diminishing timeline and so many activities in the hands of others. Mechanics, electricians, sail makers and… And, of course there is a domino effect…

#Ilovesailing #Whatareyouwaitingfor #Liveyourlife 

Jump into our Facebook page to see time-lapse videos of the crane lifting and lowering the engine through the cockpit, into the galley and into the engine bay.

Engine being craned in. https://www.facebook.com/tess.brook.5/videos/10158102310684435/

GenSet being craned in. https://www.facebook.com/tess.brook.5/videos/10158102314494435/

Getting the engine into position inside the boat. https://www.facebook.com/tess.brook.5/videos/10158116495059435/

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In Down sizing

An imperfect study on the Psychology of Downsizing. Part 2

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Firstly, thank you for your responses to my last post on “An imperfect study on the Psychology of Downsizing“. I am thrilled it has touched so many people. I am amazed that I actually finish a post so I am excited when it touch so many people. Let me explain. Publishing a post is a miracle in and of its self.

First there is an idea. My ideas typically come from:
something that is bouncing around in my mind, or
a funny event or incident
an interesting conversation maybe

From there I ponder the angle and the rough title… Once I have a rough idea of the title I can start writing. The title keeps my writing anchored and on point even though I may take the long way around… which you observably don’t mind if you are still reading…

Thanks for staying with me so far.

When I write a post I am constantly amazed that I actual can finish a train of thought. That is miracle number 1. From there I hand it over to Martin Lloyd or Bill Fuller to proofread. Otherwise, it would never be published. Then finding the photos to use takes time.

Then we get to the publishing phase. Facebook is easy to post to while the blog site consumes a little more time, with image location, size, tags and SEO (Search Engine Optimisation). It is all a learning curve.

So, the fact that it actually gets published at all is miracle number 2.

I never expected to write a “part 2”. So let’s just say that this is miracle number 3. Due to your response to last week’s post and interesting in the Psychology of Downsizing I find myself compelled to write a companion post.

Some truly beautiful things are happening. Thank you for sharing with us your thoughts and actions. Here are a few…

A friend (we did our jewellery apprenticeship together at different firms) said I got him to think about moving his tools on. While another shared a similar story about passing on his tools of trade.

From my own experiences of the Psychology of Downsizing the takeaways are:

  1. Pay it forward
  2. Create space for a new future
  3. Know what you are moving away from and towards

Let me explain…

Couch phycologist (aka me) takeaway number #1. Pay it forward. You create new stories and adventures for others. I am loving living vicariously through others from their actions.

Kevin Wilton made me an awesome pair of earrings.

3 Generations enjoy their catchups over Royal Dolton.

One-lady, gifted her daughter a china set that matched the teapot she gave her for her 30th birthday present. Now three generations have afternoon tea together off Royal Dolton.

A famous artist (Horacio Cardozo – header image) now has one of my easels and is using it to paint a canvas for our boat’s saloon. So, excited… And yes, we are adding this one painting to our collection.

My Tulips 2015

Some of my original paintings are feature pieces in new homes. Some of our art collection has turned my sister Judi Stewart and a few friends homes into mini art galleries.

Our gorgeous egg chair is now a statement piece in a photography studio and I suspect will be used in many photo shoots.

Two of our bookcases are being set up as a reading corner and loaded with classics and many more of our books are creating more hours of enjoyment for many others…

While it is hard to let it go, receiving a photo of something that was ours, set up in its new home is wonderful. And having them sign up to our blog to follow our journey is the cherry on the top.

So, if you are hesitating, Pay-it-forward and create new stories.

—-

Some days are easier than others… Because it is hard. It is a fundamental shift in thinking and direction. After all we have been collecting (consciously and unconsciously) to fill our home with things that make us happy. So to be letting the very same items go is challenging.

Having a deadline helps with our motivation. One of my friends commented

“Wow. I am loving your posts and borrowing your tips as we continue the long journey to declutter (with a spare farm and huge shed the lack of imperative is slowing us down a bit, but one day we will have to sell the farm and then what?!!!). Will forward this post also to some of my family who are struggling with prepping for downsizing! Hugs to you….”

I understand the challenge. I can’t decide on what stays or goes so I make a cuppa and the decision waits for another time. Along the same vein, I have ordered a number of times a document shredder bin to clear out old work stuff. I have extended the hire again and again and again.

I enjoying pondering the psychology of downsizing, however that only gets me so far. The following tips have worked for me;

Tip number 1 – Get help. This could be a friend or a professional.

Twice I have had friends help me sort and toss. One girlfriend helped with my professional book collection. About 18 months ago I re-homed many books. And since then I have bought and downloaded the kindle version of my “go to” books.

More recently, another friend helped me with my art equipment. I am pleased to say my books and art equipment I have not added to either collection.

In each instance we came up with some rules before we started and then they kept me focused on the rules. It was awesome and fun. And I did not need counselling afterwards. I have to admit I have still to sort out the paper from the office. And past moves tells me that is always the last to go.

I am also following the lovely Virginia Wells, A professional organiser and founder of The WellSorted Group – Declutter and Organise Your Home. I have enjoyed her posts and her daily challenge. There are a few things I am struggling to let go of. Little things and so I am engaging her for a personal session to help me part with the little things… Perhaps I will write about that separately.

Couch phycologist takeaway number #2. Create space for your new future. Past or current possessions will keep you anchored to where you are now. Let go and make space for your new future. Your new adventure or life stage.

In our case our possessions are changing:
A new ratio of high heels / flats in my wardrobe (more flats)
A new ratio of vehicles / sailboats (the dinghy is a little sail boat)
Hard copy books to ebooks
And a new collection of sheets and lines (or ropes as they are called) for all sorts of purposes

—-

To wrap it up and reach my third takeaway… Talk about what you would like to do. Our journey started with conversations. We started talking years ago about what retirement looks like. We thought it would be a batch (beach shack) by the sea with a boat. As life events unfolded, our conversations continued and evolved, finding new ways to learn, understand and accommodate each-other’s needs and interests.

I suggest you start talking with each other. We have had people say to us, I would love to live on a boat. While their partner has said, I could not do that… Find the comprise for each. Book a holiday and go sailing. Trust me hiring someone’s else’s boat is heaps cheaper, Please, trust me on that one.

Ask yourself, what would you like to do when the kids finish school, uni etc. And before they have their own kids.

What do you want to do when you retire? Why wait? Start doing it now. What’s holding you back?

On an adventure!

When Martin and I met, I had a long list of things I wanted to do written with liquid chalk on the glass sliding door of my bedroom cupboard. The list included local travel and overseas travel. I always had my next adventure planned (or a couple of options). I had a short list and possible dates ready. And when I returned from the current adventure I could to start thinking about the next, which one when etc. Otherwise it was too depressing to go back to work. Even though I loved my clients and my work. I always knew what I wanted to do next…

Adopting these strategies and building your “retirement possibilities” means you will know what you are moving away from and what you are moving towards.

And that is leads me to…

Couch phycologist takeaway number #3. Know what we are moving away from and towards.

One of the most compelling reasons we decided to move aboard and start our adventures earlier, is we want to do it while we can. In the last two weeks we have had one friend pass away after living with cancer with 17 years and another friend pass after having a stroke on Tuesday and life support being switched off on Thursday. You never know what will happen and when.

What are your retirement possibilities? What are you waiting for?

#Ilovesailing #Whatareyouwaitingfor #liveyourlife #downsizing #payitforward #Createspace

I am sure there will be a third post on “The Imperfect study of the Psychology of Downsizing”. As I said previously, I have been amazed at the response to these posts on the Psychology of Downsizing. I encourage you to start your own conversations with your family and friends. It will make it easier to take incremental steps towards your new future.

Stay tuned.

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In Down sizing

An imperfect study on the Psychology of Downsizing.

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Yes, we are back to downsizing. Take 3! There are no more extension dates. We will be out of the house on the 17th June.

First things first, recently Martin had an aggressive skin cancer removed from the back of his hand.

The great news is they believe they removed it all. A week later they took another one off the top of his foot and again we have good news. Supper happy.

Dr Tan and the staff at Coorparoo Skin Clinic are brilliant. Not only at diagnosing and removal of the offending tissues but at the fine art of calming down a grown man with a genuine phobia of needles and knives. Watching this was magic.

If you have not had a skin check-up recently, do so. And don’t forget – wear sunscreen.

Downsizing took a back foot for many reasons, new engine, Martin’s hand, his foot (you can stop there baby) and the COVID restrictions. It is kind of hard to sell anything if people can’t visit to collect. So, with the slight lift in restrictions we are placing ads on-line and starting to move things once again.—Downsizing is a study of the psychology of inner conflict. Psychology as defined; The study of the human mind and its wide-ranging functions and influences.

Downsizing is a journey into our past with the aim (in our case) to be free of possessions that hold us to house and land in order to roam freely and un-encumbered into a new future.

My inner voice; “Wow – did I just write that? That is deep.”

In the process of shifting and sorting we stumble across things that have stopped us and make us reflect.

My reflections fall into a number of categories:

Possessions and collections.
Habits and silly conversations with self.
Family and friends.
Our identities.

Possessions and collections

• Am I really letting that go? I saved for so long for it.
• Wow, I have spent (or wasted) a lot of money!
• I love this collection. I really need it to go to a good home.

Habits and silly conversations

One of many collections

Backups. This habit is becoming abundantly clear as we are down-sizing. I always have a backup. This habit has served me well e.g. Dishwashing liquid when the current bottle is finished, I easily can reach under the sink and grab the back-up bottle. In my next shop I buy the next backup bottle. No emergency dashes to the shops for anything if possible.

Silly Conversations. My inner voice in a serious tone, “Do I take this (hair) conditioner or that conditioner. How did I end up with so many?” Pause… shouted from the bathroom, “Do you want a cuppa baby?” Clearly too hard a decision. Best be decided later…

Family and Friends

Cards, notes and keepsakes

The people who have shaped, guided and influenced my life. I have found notes that I have kept, cards and photos. None of which at this point in time I could write coherently about. It would take a few months bopping around at sea to have the time and space to express how grateful I am to you all. So, let’s settle on a humble thank you to everyone who has made me who I am today.

Our identity

For both of us we are exploring our next adventure. As you know we are not waiting to get any younger. And while we feel able, we are feeling the challenges our bodies are presenting. Martin perhaps a little more than me.

For me, a quandary has been drifting in and out of my consciousness for some time. I did not realise that it was associated with how I saw myself. These thoughts started to become clearer after a conversation with my friend Kevin Wilton.

One of the biggest downsizing challenges for me…

Martin’s Wedding Ring

has been what to do with my jewellery bench and tools. Some of you may not know that I started my working life as a jewellery apprentice and went on to become a jeweller. I worked in the trade full-time between 1984 and 1992 and then part time for a couple of years while I studied Industrial Design. In the last 28 years my jewellery bench has been set up ready for work for about 20 of those years. I have tinkered occasionally. It was packed away when Martin and I met.

When I proposed to Martin, he insisted that I make his wedding ring.

My cries of, “Sure you don’t want a bought one?” were firmly resisted, all the while insisting I make his wedding ring.

Back to my conversation with my friend. I first meet Kevin when he was working as a professional photographer and had been engaged to take some photos of my jewellery for a funky menswear shop that made limited edition men’s shirts.

Alternative Silver

I had the opportunity to be at the photo shoot. And this was where I connected with Kevin the photographer. He included me in the discussions of photo composition, light, angles and beauty. Since then we have happily bounced in and out of each-other’s lives. He has since fallen in love with jewellery making. Impressively, driven by his passion is self-taught and making a living from his craft in a really tough environment. He has set up under the banner of Alternative Silver and makes commissions, sells at the markets and runs classes. He is truly passionate about jewellery.

I was discussing the downsizing dilemma of letting go off my tools. And he shared a parallel story. He still has his photography studio and dark room setup; he has not used it in years. But it Is still a part of his identity.

My mind has been mulling over

packing up my tools until the day that I may return. Or giving them to Kevin to use and create as they were intended to be used. And so we have reached an agreement that he can have my tools indefinitely.

There is an old tradition in the jewellery trade (that sadly has largely fallen by the wayside) that when a jeweller retires or stops making jewellery, they gift their tools to someone. This thought has also been bouncing around in my mind. I have been admiring Kevin’s passion and his making a living out of jewellery when most jewellers are ready to give up.

Somehow and I am not sure how, I have settled and become comfortable with the indefinite loan of my tools to Kevin. Having trained a number of apprentices, seeing someone with such passion reminds me of my early days in the trade. It feels right.

Now, we move forward, letting go of old identities, making way for new ones.

And with that one more story of identity springs to mind… a professional colleague (and client) Tracey Bode introduced me to her husband one evening last year as “sailor girl”. It went like this, “Hey Derek, this is Sailor Girl”. And with hearing that, my face broke out with a massive grin.

#ilovesailing #Whatareyouwaitingfor #Liveyourlife #Downsizing

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In Our Journey

The power of intention and other life updates

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The power of intention… Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it. A fortnight ago, I concluded my post with … I feel like I can relax a little more and enjoy the beauty and pleasure of everyday mundane things.

I’m pleased to report I am improving at relaxing. But I can’t take all the credit. I believe some of the success lies with luck, some is in sound decision-making (reducing pressure and in turn stress) and some is managing the pressure I put on myself and my attitude towards the long list of things that still need to be done. And Martin’s foot. More on that later.

Proud to show our diesel engine maintenance course certificates
Our diesel engine maintenance course certificates

Luck – a 4 day Easter weekend followed a fortnight later with the 3 day Labour day weekend. Happy dance – extra time.

Sound decision-making – two decisions have reduced our stress:

  • taking a shed at the marina reducing the pressure to sell everything 
  • deciding to pay for a removalist to move our remaining possession (and there are still a few) 

Managing my attitude towards my to do list. This is hard. But by simply reprioritising what’s important to me first, has made the world of difference. Including my exercise.

I am doing my core strength work and my back is loving it. No more pain killers because I am curled over the keyboard for hours on end. 

The morning walk with the dogs had fallen by the wayside. It was like my keyboard had this magical power softly calling my name the moment I awoke. Not for my writing but straight into work. Yeh I know… I need to cut that s*** out, right?

And so, I am loving the mundane and catching up on things.

One task that has given me an immense level of satisfaction has been writing a couple of thank you cards. I have a card box where I keep a few cards handy, just in case I need one. 

Some of the cards are from art-galleries we have visited over the years. Some from a shy homeless guy in Melbourne who draws all the time. He has his drawings printed and sells them on the street corner. And in days gone by I used to make and sell my own cards. 

It was wonderful to pull this box out and select the cards to impart my messages. In the end I selected handmade cards the exterior made from recycled paper. This paper while in pulp form had multi coloured stars sprinkled randomly through the pulp mix. The inside of the card was a lovely linen paper. The smoothness of this texture was a beautiful contrast to the recycled paper and so beautiful to write on. 

Hand made letters
Hand-made cards

I had been planning to write four thank you cards to two different hospitals (Doctors and staff) and my local doctor for the amazing work they have done either saving Martin or my goddaughter’s lives. I was so happy to have been able to this. My stepbrother who is a doctor and a surgeon, suggested it after explaining the challenges of my Martin’s surgery.  I cannot tell you how good it felt to write my gratitude. We also enjoyed the walk to the mailbox to post them. I was grateful to still have a couple of stamps kicking-in around in the box. A quick online search confirmed current postage fee. All good.

And now some space to give you more updates… And it is all good news…
  • Martin and I received our certificates for completing our diesel engine maintenance course… Woohoo!!!
  • Our new engine has arrived and installation is likely to be this week. I am hoping it is Friday as I would be able to watch it. 
  • Doctors advised that they have successful removed all of the skin-cancer from the back of Martin’s hand. 

The Doctors also found and removed another skin cancer from the top of Martin’s foot. This happened on Friday and we should get the results on Wednesday. Fingers crossed for the same results as the last. 

Our cute little companions
Our companions

This weekend it is truly doing nothing for Martin as he has to keep his foot up for 48 hours. And be gentle with it moving forward not to pull the stitches. So, it is a Netflix feast and reading weekend. And for me it is punctate with nursing duties for cups of tea and biscuits etc. I gladly do it to keep Martin off his feet and I’m pleased to report no cups of tea were left on the bench (undelivered) as I get distracted with something else…

I did forget to turn the kettle on twice. Ha ha.

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In Sailing

Personalising the boat and other life choices…

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Personalising the boat… for me options explode in my head, bounce around like a pinball machine and for the main give me hours of entertainment. Everything is a choice…

Every one’s free lyrics

Queue music; Baz Luhrmann everyone is free

“Wear sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience…“

This is one of my all-time favourite songs. It is all about choices… I wonder if Martin will get sick of hearing it on the boat… This and many other questions are taking up more of my head space.

As we approach moving aboard our attention is shifting from the essential, to the practical and the nice to have. Or what I call the critical non-essentials…

Here’s my logic…

The essentials are a must have.

For example, a fully functioning motor is essential. As is fuel. And the right type of fuel for that matter.

The practical covers a few things, they could make life easier, such as the trolley we recently purchased. It needed to be fit for purpose. So in this case; sturdy, collapsible and compact. Or which cutlery set do we take. Martin’s set from home is lovely however, they are not well balanced and as we are going to slightly smaller dinner plates the cutlery will easily fall off the plates. It already does now.

The Critical non-essentials… Personalising the boat, linen, cushions etc… More on that shortly.

A practical decision first… 

My old ski

I would love to take my surf ski with me. It is a 4.2-meters fibreglass OzFlyte ski. I purchased it directly from the manufacturer located on the Sunny Coast and requested a purple and pink paint job. I added hibiscus flower decals to the sides later. Weight was a consideration. I had to be able to lift it on and off the car by myself. At 17Kgs it was just about perfect. 

However, when we are at sea the ski will be strapped to the side railings of the boat. It will be smashed with waves. However of greater concern, is a whip from a stray sheet (sail rope). That will be a battle that the fibreglass is likely to lose. Hence, a more practical solution is required. 

I have been trawling on-line for a couple of months for a second-hand plastic kayak. Length is a consideration. I don’t want to compromise too much on manoeuvrability and I also want the kayak to glide. I’m armed with a list of criteria and I think I have found what I want… stay tuned… 

On to the critical non-essentials… 

Saboteur is going to be our home. We want her to be beautiful… She already is beautifully designed. Her fibre glass hull has a beautiful hand-built teak interior fit-out. The quality of the interior is spectacular. My grandfather (a carpenter), if he was alive would have loved it.

To gain a sense of style, imagine (for those of you who have been to Singapore) the beautiful old style colonial buildings with the old style plantation shutter doors, only in our case all our cupboards have louvred doors. Imagine, while you are at it, a Singapore Sling in your hand, but instead of sipping it in Raffles (The Long Bar or the Court Yard), you are lounging in our saloon or chilling in our cockpit… Equally as glorious.

This post has inspired me to enjoy a Singapore Sling this evening. Martin went to make breakfast this morning and found the required spirits bottles already on the bench in anticipation 😉

Are you getting the laid-back lazy Sunday afternoon feeling? I am…  

Back to personalising our interior. We have limited options in terms of artwork. This is limited by the fact that almost every space that is a wall is actually a cupboard. The result is we only have space for two smaller art pieces. More on that in a separate post.

We want to install weather covers at the aft end of the boat. Traditionally, they are in basic block colours and made from a heavy-duty canvas. We are considering an alternate to the standard block colour, just to personalise it a little. The pattern we are considering is the sample in the photo. It is still the nautical blue and white however, the pattern will complement the side safety netting and I love the fact that the pattern (kind of watercolour-ish) is not perfect. This may match our safety-netting installation skills. Time will tell. Today, is critical non-essential research day, followed by a Singapore Sling at sunset. A perfect Tess and Martin day.

And finally, on a more serious note… 

Wear sunscreen.

Both Martin and I have fair skin. My grandmother had more then we can count skin cancers removed. They were located on her calves, the back of her right forearm and the underside of her left forearm. These locations are from sun exposure while picking strawberries on the family farm. I can see her bent over holding the basket in her left hand and picking strawberries in her right hand, just like she has bent over in her own garden for many years. Based on family history, I go in for skin test every 6 months and regularl have suspect spots removed prior to them turning nasty.

This week saw Martin get a call to come in immediately to have a skin cancer removed from the back of his hand. We find out on Tuesday if they have it all.

So my friends… how long has it been since you had your skin checked? As Baz Luhrmann says, “wear sunscreen”.

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